It was sometime before noon, 1,200 years ago, when Kaldi noticed his goats were dancing. As usual, the goat herder had awoken that morning with the first rays of day still hidden behind the Arabian hills. He’d set out for another typical day of tending his herd, unaware of the amazing discovery his animals would bring him. He was quite shocked then when he found his goats joyously prancing around a dark, green-leafed shrub. Upon further investigation he noticed that between jigs, his goats were eagerly grazing on the cherry-red berries of the bush. Kaldi picked a few of the berries, gobbled them up, and was soon boogying down right alongside his goats. A passing monk witnessed this scene and decided to test for himself the source of this frolicking. He brought a bushel of the bean-encrusted berries back to his brothers, and that night, the monastery enjoyed a mysterious alertness to divine inspiration. Or so goes the legend of how this potent bean was discovered, leading to the creation of one of the most popular drinks in the world, coffee.
Buzz, bean brew, java, a cup of Joe, call it what you will, its hot water flavored with coffee beans. Over the past millennium this simple concoction has matured into a beverage of epidemic proportions. Every day over 100,000,000 cups of coffee are drunk in the United States alone. This incredible demand for java has created a coffee culture that has become so pervasive, it’s nearly impossible to avoid. Don’t believe me? Find out for yourself.
Try driving through any town or city in America and count the number of coffee shops you see. You may be surprised. A quaint little town is usually just another burb without that trendy café on every corner. My small hometown in Massachusetts boasts a whopping 4 Dunkin Donuts, 2 Starbucks, and at least 8 other establishments where coffee is served. The next time you walk into a department store try scanning the shelves for trash as you shop. I did this in a Wal-Mart recently and couldn’t believe what I found. Abandoned amongst the merchandise, I counted 13 empty coffee cups looking like the discarded needles of some back alley junkie. Try running a business bean-free and see what happens. The productivity of a company often relies as much on the efficiency of its coffee maker as it does on the talent of its employees. Pull the plug if you wanna see a strike.
A kitchen without coffee is like a car without horsepower, and in case you didn’t know, most hybrid cars are no fun to drive. The next time you entertain, try telling your coffee-drinking guests that you’ve run out. Offer them herbal tea instead. Watch what happens. See if the gathering doesn’t motor on over to the nearest Dunkin Donuts or late night truck stop. Chances are you and your ill equipped home will be left in a cloud of java lust and roadway dust. Coffee has become as valuable a resource to our culture as the crude oil that moves it, and the demand is only rising. What can I say? America runs on Dunkin’.
How is it that this bitter black water has given rise to such a compelling drink? Could it be this beverage owes its popularity to its anti-oxidant properties? Doubtful. The health-minded crowd is probably only a minute percentage of coffee drinkers. Perhaps coffee can attribute its fame to the temperature at which it’s served then? Maybe. Hot coffee certainly is a pleasant winter warmer, iced coffee a cooling refreshment. But then again there are plenty of hot and cold drinks that aren’t nearly as persuasive as coffee. One is left to wonder how such a caustic flavor could become so popular. The answer, is the presence of C8 H10 N4 O2, better known as Caffeine.
Chemically, caffeine is very similar to cocaine. Both are a crystalline white powder in their pure states, and both are powerful stimulants. The difference is that caffeine is legal, and consequently, socially acceptable. Ever hear a friend or coworker say something like “sorry, you’ll have to forgive me if I seem a bit hyper, I’ve just had way too many lines of cocaine this morning.” Of course not, but replace ‘lines of cocaine’ with ‘cups of coffee’ and I’ll bet you hear some variation of that phrase at least once a week. Caffeine has easily become the most popular drug going. It’s estimated that 90% of Americans consume caffeine in one form or another every day. This startling figure is easily credited to the chemical changes caffeine causes in the brain. Upon introduction to the body, the clandestine caffeine disguises itself as adenosine. It binds to all the adenosine receptors in the brain preventing the reception of the real adenosine, which is the chemical that slows nerve impulses and indicates drowsiness. This causes the user to become more alert and less tired. It’s sort of like a ninja spy stealthing his way into your head and snap kicking your brain. Wake up! In addition, caffeine also increases the levels of dopamine in the brain, which improves mood and the sense of well-being. It is these almost narcotic effects that are the root of caffeine’s addictive properties.
Addiction is defined as a pathological relationship to any mood altering experience. Right from the start, coffee created addicts. Around 1000 AD, Arabs were likely the first to experience the addictive, mood altering effects of caffeine. By the 13th century Muslims were drinking coffee religiously. These first ‘coffee junkies’ were so protective of their product that for the next 400 years coffee would remain exclusive to Arabia. In order to dominate the market and horde supplies, coffee beans were boiled or parched before being exported. This resulted in exactly zero fertile coffee seeds sprouting outside the Arabian Peninsula. It wasn’t until the 1600s when the bold Baba Budan, an Indian smuggler, left Mecca with fertile seeds strapped to his belly that coffee expanded to Europe’s colonies. This single act erased 400 years of Arabian coffee dominance. Generous Amsterdam took advantage of Budan’s daring, giving coffee trees as gifts to European aristocrats in the early 1700s. These thoughtful presents would lead to an exponential spread of the craving cultivation.
One of the privileged few to receive a coffee tree was Louis XIV. He planted his tree in the royal botanical garden in Paris which at the time, seemed a safe and fitting place to show off his prize. The garden proved to be a secure location until the arrival of one determined man, a French naval officer named Gabriel Mathieu de Clieu. While on leave in Paris, de Clieu became instantly obsessed with the intoxicating tree, vowing to harness its power one way or another. Using the most humble and respectful tone he could muster, de Clieu formally requested a branch from the king to bring back to his duty station, the Caribbean island of Martinique. Permission denied. It seemed the king did not want to part with his ‘precious’ anymore than the Arabs did a half a century before. When diplomacy failed the enterprising officer led a midnight raid on the tree, narrowly escaping with the botonous bounty. He sailed for Martinique with his priceless cargo: a small stow of coffee branches. Despite greedy passengers, plundering pirates, and a violent storm that nearly sunk the ship, the coffee seeds made it safely to the West. The unyielding officer was determined. During a particularly long windless stretch of the voyage, he even gave up one half of his water ration to ensure his hyper bean-child survived. Back in Martinique, the seedling sprouted under armed guard, yielding a family of 18 million trees over the next 50 years.
In 1727 the coffee market gained a formidable new competitor, the cunning government of Brazil. Under the guise of settling a border dispute, dispatched was LtCol Franciso de Melo Palheta, who would soon become the James Bond of coffee. He traveled to French Guiana with orders to steal some seeds to smuggle back to Brazil. Unlike de Clieu, Palheta did not resort to a full frontal assault. Deciding a raid on the well-guarded coffee farms would prove to be too costly, he chose instead to infiltrate the governor’s wife. Under an agreement that remains unclear, she gave Palheta a going away bouquet laced with fertile coffee seeds. Those seeds would give rise to the World’s greatest coffee empire. By 1800 Brazil’s massive coffee production would bring the drink from a once exclusive imbibe to a common elixir for the people.
Today coffee has become one of the most popular beverages in the world. It now grows on nearly every continent (climate permitting), but the original coffee farmers, Arabia, South America, and France, are still the heavy hitters. The United States is the largest importer of coffee thanks to a few major US corporations. One of these companies is Starbucks. Whereas traditional coffee is brewed simply and served with cream and sugar, the coffee of today comes in hundreds of varieties, strengths, flavors, and appearances. There are dozens of potential add-ons including flavor shots, whip cream, honey, milk froth, cocoa, and nutmeg to name a few. Starbucks has grossly exploited this potential variety of coffee in order to profit from its low cost of production. At a typical diner a patron can order a bottomless cup of java for a dollar or less. Depending on the options selected, a 20oz cup of coffee at Starbucks can cost over 6 dollars! “I’ll have a venti mocha-chino hazelnut half-café with a double shot of espresso and a sprig of cinnamon please.” It seems they charge a dollar per fancy sub name of the order. Despite this absurdity people are buying them. Starbucks reported 7.8 billion dollars in revenue for 2006. The coffee craze is becoming more extensive than the bottled water trend. Hello, wake up and smell the coffee people! Coffee drinkers could save thousands of dollars a year if they just brewed at home. A two pound can of generic ground coffee can make over 100 cups and sells for around 5 dollars. Granted the flavor is average at best but compare that to the 6 dollars for only one cup of Starbucks and it’s a no brainer. Either way the buzz is there. Brewing at home is pure common sense. Just think, you don’t even have to leave your house to administer that much needed dose of uppers. Folgers in your cup really is the best part of waking up.
Imagine awakening to the familiar incessant blaring of a digital alarm clock. You slam your hand down to silence the pest and begin to dread climbing out of your cozy bed to face yet another long day. Still sluggish from not enough sleep you shuffle into the kitchen and flick on the light. Recoiling against the brightness of the room your eyes retreat under their lids. In desperate need of a hot fix you switch on your Mr. Coffee. The toasty steaming smell attacks your senses as it noisily drips and hisses into the pot, molesting your anticipation. You fill your favorite porcelain mug till it’s brimming and steadily raise the brew to your lips. Drawing the contents inside your head you can feel the warm creamy fluid flowing into your belly like a heroin shot to the arm. Minutes later the caffeine makes its way to your bloodstream and begins to generate a feeling of euphoric acceleration. Little kid excitement bubbles out the valves of your heart, popping through your veins, perverting your brain. You giggle. Your eyes widen as a smile spreads across your face.
Damn, I feel like dancing, you think.
I’m ready to face the World.
Sources
www.coffeeresearch.org/coffee/history
www.coffeetea.about.com/caffeine
www.nationalgeographic.com/coffee
